I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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