IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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