Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize