Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
