I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
