If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize