just come out here and I will go home with you...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
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