He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
