I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
