I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
