chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
