She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I got inside last night via doggy door
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
