my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
