I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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