who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
