I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
