I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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