why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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