Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
