I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize