ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
