He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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