me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
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only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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