So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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