Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
