the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
