I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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