I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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