If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize