Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
