I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
