please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
