well you can't waste a boner
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
