I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
