We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm too high and old for this...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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