I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
where are my eyebrows?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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