she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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