Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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