fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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