can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
