Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You took a bar mat shot.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
