I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
