i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
