normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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