I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize