i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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