Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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