If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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