Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.