if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
