Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
