Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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