She is in my trunk
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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