And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
