k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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