is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
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You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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