I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
