I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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