You smell like stripper and shame
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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