My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
