Sponge bath it is.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize