Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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