Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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