What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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