I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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