omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I think my moral compass just broke
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