plz talk dirty to me
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
