I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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