Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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