We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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